www.worldwidereview.com

Strictly for a laugh, of course. I defy anyone to spend more than five seconds contemplating that giant face...

"Born in London in 1960, Andrew Graham-Dixon is one of the leading art critics and presenters of arts television in the English-speaking world."

I think a man who has written more than one million words deserves more respect than he is being shown here. That's one million, think about it, all about art. I have seen him on the telly and I can tell you he has at least one million useful hand gestures too.

If you're impressed by quantity over quality Jim, might I suggest collecting phone books for your library?

AGD is a fat tosser whose taste is mediocre, insight miniscule and who swans around glamour spots dabbling in a little art history, devoid of any more compelling thesis than Dig My Privileges. We call him out here so that we can torch his ancestral home.

Privileged!?! Indeed. How do you know he didn't support himself through the Westminster School as a young fellow with his earnings from a paper-round? Trudging through the rain and snow in the dark early mornings dreaming of one day attending the Courtauld Institute while working weekends in KFC? All the time thinking up more and more art related words to add to his massive (more than a MILLION!) critical arsenal. I have heard that during his career as one of the best art critics in the English speaking world he has also amassed a collection of more than one hundred pens. Do you own that many pens?

The way he's being presented here you would imagine he's a posh tit who has lucked his way through a career because of his connections and excessive leisure time to ponce around the place blabbering in to a tv camera using exaggerated hand gestures, squinting and stroking his chin to imply profundity in the dull blather he's spouting.

I'll bet most of those pens are fountain pens.