stages of restaurant-going grief

stages of restaurant-going grief

Postby jasperjoffe » Sat Jul 11, 2015 9:27 am

Entry: optimism, new place, good reviews, regional, highly recommended. this is going to be good, despite patronising waitress seating you at group table when the place is empty. Despite sub-school chairs and rickety trestle tables. despite the inability of the bar staff to make basic cocktails. Price is no object, have a starter, have two! Let's try everything!

Menu: hope abounds. If you were to translate the words into actual things you liked to eat based on experience, the optimism would fade.

First course: mmm, this is nice, tasty, yum, doubts start to hover in back of mind about portion size, inappropriate ingredients, timings. restaurant goers chatter away positively trying to convince themselves/each other that the food is going to defy the creeping conviction that it's shit and overpriced.

Main course: Arrives sporadically, too salty, small, over-cooked, chewy, fatty, cooked from frozen, tasteless. A sad (angry) silence about the food descends.

Dessert: No, thanks, jut the bill please.

Bill: (for that!) bad news, looked at sadly, paid abruptly, exit fast.

Exit: Wow, that was terrible. Really bad. Overpriced and not very good. Oh,well, next time.
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