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Re: Jeff Koons

From:     Vestin Pance
Category: Art
Date:     06 July 2009
Time:     06:44 PM

Review:

Upon entering the oh so democratically neutral Serpentine Gallery one is immediately hit my the
gorgeous smell of Linden Blossom emanating from the hunt of the royal sun basket case infested
parklife externals that have roasted the haggis out of Wimbledons one and only boychild hope.
Jeff Koons, Can anything be said in favour of the purposefully banal? Once upon a time there was a
person not unlike one of Mr Koons "subjects", not a porceline pop star or a flower puppy or a
balloon dog but the son of a polish diaspora, called Warhola. It is worth asking if banality needs
any form of progression because it is such an entity in itself, stranded, alienated and self serving
conveniently this position of pompous self assured risk taking was occupied by Koons much earlier
when he appeared to have some force in his deliberations, somehow more eligable than say Hirst but
to be fair, a different generation too.
Now we look around the Serpentine Gallery, theres a man like a giant Ron Muerk gnome who is a punter
looking at the art with a huge grin, initially I'm influenced positively by this until I see the
fool half an hour later still looking like a complete twat, this is tiresome, everyone in the
gallery is marvelling at the fact that they are being tricked by the surface of the paint, he uses
people to paint these you know....These are screen printed...Well! Thats painted aluminium, really?
are you sure,? it looks like rubber and so on.
Once when a big orangy grey cardboard thing called society existed there was a need for people like
Koons to posit "what if's", the guy who did this most succinctly ,(looking back) appears to have
been Andy Warhol but we all know thats a general assumtion based on the trends in fashion etc.Koons
is an eloquent speaker, like sprinter he does a short insincere series of rallies about when he was
a kid (God thats sooo American...starting from when I was a kid) about his MOM being an interior
designer...well, thank god we all know thats a euphemism for some idle nuerotic with insufficient
quabtities of ravenous wild assed kids to control, but we'll let it slide, usually we get the
parable of the Mum who is arty and the Dad was a Banker and in europe particularly a banker is one
helluva euphemism. I was'nt genuinely disappointed by the Serpentine show and some of it shouted
loudly enough to register something historic, something histeric. Why is the tiny bookshop in the
Serpentine Gallery a. Too Small, b. empty when you arrive. c.full, hot and confusing to the point
where you have to lreave. Go to the Serpentine for the trees outside and be assurred America is not
as bad a place as all that, after all The Puppy had scale...we all loved the Puppy.


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