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PRINCE to perform for BB Housemates

From:     the guardian
Category: Music
Date:     08 June 2007
Time:     09:11 AM


The Artist Formerly Yadda-Yadda is supposedly a big fan and in discussions to play a special gig for the housemates. 
Elsewhere, Blur reunion plans are still a-whir, and Paul McCartney is let down by his Starbucks overlords 

If you're wondering what the sky was doing turning all blood red this morning and quite why those horsemen were wielding 
scythes as they floated past the Costcutter, please allow us to explain: the end of the world has arrived. 
According to the Book of Revelation, it shouldn't take too long, requiring only the total defeat of Satan before everything calms 
down again (albeit in the next life). Until then we're all going to have to make do with a continual flow of agonising augurs, 
including the prospect of Prince playing a gig solely for residents of the Big Brother house. 

This gut-fricasseeing prospect was revealed this morning in The Sun, The Official End of Days Paper, which claims Prince is a 
"big fan of the show" and has asked to put on a performance "either in the BB garden or screened in the house from a London 
A source went on to explain further. "Prince is a huge fan of Big Brother. He has tuned in to every series of the show so far and 
loves the concept. 

"His management are in discussions with producers Endemol to arrange a gig. Prince is hoping it will be an unforgettable 
moment that goes down in BB history." 

Now far be it for us to challenge this version of events, particularly when we are having to expend a sizeable percentage of our 
energy defending our home from a plague of flying vampire rats that defecate laser beams. But still, let's try. 

First off, who really believes that Prince has watched every series of the UK Big Brother? That he was sitting in Paisley Park a 
few years ago banging his fist on his glass coffee table (he bought it for specialist reasons) going: "Where's my DVD of UK BB 
Series 4? I wanna know what Cameron the Scottish fisherman has to say about sharing the washing-up duties! Hmm, who's 
that chick in the paisley bikini?" 

Secondly, it's also a stretch to imagine the Purple One viewing any performance in the context of "BB history", like he wants to 
get his own chapter in the annals next to "Jade learns where Cambridge is". 

Also, thirdly, all those tickets for the Dome gigs sold in 20 minutes and you're telling us a bunch of dipsticks get their own gig 
laid on for free when half of them probably won't even know who he is? That's fair, all right. Anyway, gotta go, there's a small 
child at the door spewing blood out of her eye sockets.

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