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From: Veg
Category: Books
Date: 02 October 2006
Time: 01:12 PM
Review:
Partly just to read all the feminist classics I read this book, and the beginning I found quite old
fashioned - stressing the boredom and unhappiness caused by being "just a house wife". An
important distinction is made - that in glorifying the work of a housewife we are approving the
occupation with out appreciating its tedium, and thus condemning women to that position and
expecting her to be fulfilled in it (as it is such a glorious thing to be). None the less the fact remains -
then as now magazines glorify motherhood and continue to promote an unhealthy attention to
women's appearance in order to sell advertising space, and we continue to buy in to it. I am often
amused by the contrast between what magazine articles say women want and what feminist books
say women want. The former complain that men are asking for too much sex and they just don't feel
like it, while the latter complain that women have an inexhaustible sex drive that is rarely satisfied by
their limp husbands. Here the book makes an important point - that women are taught to value
themselves by their sex, sex means approval, and where women can only seek approval in the
domestic domain it is not surprising that they should suffer low self esteem when they are not getting
a good fuck every night. ("She just needs a good fuck that’s what'll sort her out", and its almost like
that if that is where we perceive our value as sex objects). Towards the end of the book there is the
familiar debate about women's orgasms. "The transcendence of self, in sexual orgasm, as in creative
experience, can only be attained by one who is himself, or herself, complete, by one who has realized
his or her own identity." Other statistics showed that the younger people started having intercourse
the less likely they are to reach orgasm. Or women are more likely to achieve orgasm if they are
married after 20. People who "feel empty" are less likely to "submit" to orgasm. The better their
education the more likely they are to reach orgasm. "One of the major reasons, ironically, why so
many women are not achieving full-flowering sexuality today is because they are so over determined
to reach it". Which brings me to the beastfeeding women of worldwidereview, to add further to the
complications of sexual fulfilment of women, with the dubious claim that breast feeding prevents
orgasms.
What if you are lactating, uneducated, self confident with a regular sex life? Or educated, insecure,
lactating and enjoy masturbating? Or married at 16, educated till you are 20, have numerous sexual
partners and are confident? The possible combinations of personality, circumstance, education,
career fulfilment are endless, it seems incredible that any one at all should ever expect to reach
orgasm. One thing I can assure worried women of is that breast feeding does not need to up set your
sex life (if you have one) and though many families do break up within the first 6 months of a child's
life when domestic life becomes some what chaotic, orgasm can be reached and lack of it need not
be blamed and certainly orgasms and sexual intercourse are independent of each other.